Sarah Palin is the brain to nowhere. Or maybe she's the cerebral hemorrhage that's been squished in the New York subway station by a large rat named Elma beween gum wrappers and Tootsie rolls.
When you listen to Sarah speak, she sounds like a character who escapted "B-I-N-G-O." Yes, do y'all remember that song about the dog we sang in Kindergarten? Well, Sarah's marbles in mouth sound as if she could have been Mayor of B-I-N-G-O and shot the dog and thus ended the world they lived in.
Sarah is hot in the sense that perhaps acid it hot. She is fawned over by working-class thugs/red necks/ex-Lehman Brother workers who, like Alec Baldwin, believe that the world has changed drastically since Shirley Chisholm was running for president.
If Sarah had been a victim of the panty raid in Phillip Roth's recent novel Indignation (frat boys at a 1950s midwest college threw female students' white panties into the snow), she would have assisted the young lads. But she's so duplicitous that she would not have likely inspired any of their erectile facilities.
Sarah's resources--such as her high school yearbook for choosing people for government jobs when she became governor of Alaska--or her helicopter that she understandably uses to shop at Wal-Mart--is beyond the Palin.
That she asked Biden if she could call him "Joe" at the debate, well, that was demeaning to women who want to be on more than the flirt level with their male contemporaries. Maybe she should have stopped the debate and said, "Joe, I'd like to kiss you but I'd be ridiculed more than Princess Elizabeth was during the Renaissance when she allowed a married admiral to touch her buttocks."
Sarah annoys women more than men because we live in a culture of extreme self-hatred as women; and when we see a woman such as Palin who truly embodies the beloved stereotypes of male chauvinists, well, it sends us to CVS in the hopes of ODing on Comet.
Sarah's a heart beat away from that burn victim McCain who is certain to press an atomic button or two, if given a chance.
If you read this, and have not made up your mind, vote for a brain that is not the bridge to nowhere. Or you can always get a lobotomy after they get elected and imagine that it never happened.
I am so on board with this post. Everything.
After Obama's rally here I am starting to feel the tiniest sliver of optimism. New Mexico was a big time swing state. McCain and Obama visited Albuquerque on the same day, McCain in the morning and Obama in the evening. McCain drew less than a thousand, and Obama drew over 35,000.
Palin is hot in that crazy ex-girlfriend kind of way, the kind that sleeps with your best friend for retaliation, or takes a baseball bat to your car, or, you know, holds you at knife point or something.
Posted by: donna | October 28, 2008 at 12:31 AM
HaHa.
Just a few more days to go...can't imagine that McCain & Palin will win.
Cee
Posted by: "Cee" | October 28, 2008 at 09:28 PM
...your health insurance won't cover the brain procedure...
Posted by: pago | October 31, 2008 at 09:02 PM